When Do Children Learn “Gender”

Did you know that beginning at around 18 months old, girls and boys begin identifying with a gender? Then they look for information about what this means and how they should behave, according to researchers Baldwin & Moses.

From age 3 – 5, there are the gender police. Some preschoolers, believe it or not, are not so flexible in their perceptions of gender. They have learned to believe that girls play with dolls. Boys climb trees. Girls are “nice”; boys are “rough”. Girls are weak, Boys are strong. And these children take on the job of “Gender Police”. They ensure that the other children act in accordance with their gender. At playdates, at preschools, in playgrounds. Many children have had a visit from the “gender police“. And when this happens, that child is more likely to prefer their own gender and develop a stronger bias against the “other” gender, according to researchers Carole Martin and Diane Ruble

Research also suggests that young children learn, in preschool, that boys have gendered power over girls’ bodies, according to researcher Heidi M. Gansen.

And don’t forget. We are talking about 3 – 5 year olds.

Then, around age 5, all children’s perceptions of gender become rigid for 2 or so years. according to Trautner et al. 2005. All of this input they receive beforehand, some biology and a great deal from us, leads to a fixed perception of gender for 1 – 2 years.

And guess what? We don’t know if what a child perceives about gender at age 6 has a long term impact.

Why does this matter? Did you know that by the time boys and girls are six years old, they both perceive that boys are smarter? Research showed that boys and girls both associate brilliance to boys, and girls begin opting out of activities that are deemed to require intelligence or brilliance. This happens by age 6, according to researcher Lin Bian, in 2016.

It’s not only intelligence though. Studies of gender stereotypes in young children show that they attribute “greater power to males and helplessness to females” according to Ruble et al. 2006.

How do we raise girls to speak up, stand up and rise up? And how do we teach boys that they do not have gendered power over girls’ bodies?